Loss of a Little One

 

Many of you know our story. You know the heartache Tony and I suffered at the loss of two children to miscarriage. One child in 2007 and the other in 2009. God has used that sadness and heartache to grow us and to develop an amazing lending library in honor of our two already-home children.

About nine years ago, during a correspondence writing course I took, I wrote a "play" and I feel compelled to share it with you here. This piece is not very in-depth, but I think it illustrates some important points. I hope that you will know my heart in it. Be blessed. Remember that you have a story to share with others. Your heartaches and trials and traumas shape you. God often uses those moments in your life to reach others around you. Hugs to you, friend. He cares for you.

 

From 2013:

Losing Hannah

An original five-minute play

By Jolene Ceravalo

Setting: A bed and dresser and chair establish the bedroom.

Woman on bed crying, man walks in.

MAN: (Walks over to woman on bed.) Honey, what is it?

WOMAN: (Sits up to speak to man.) I was talking to Ann today. She told me that she went to the doctor on Friday. I just can’t believe it’s real. She found out she’s pregnant. (Starts sobbing.)

MAN: Oh. I don’t know what to say. That’s great news for Ann and Luke. They must be thrilled.

WOMAN: I know. I’m happy for them, I am, but I just hurt so much inside. The loss of our baby came back full force when I heard her words. She even said that she was thinking of putting off telling me so that I wouldn’t get hurt. I told her that I’m glad she told me her news, but I think that I may have been lying.

MAN: Oh, honey, I know how much it must hurt you. It hurts me too because I know how sad you’ve been. I still don’t know why God allowed us to lose our baby. He has a reason for it, but I know that doesn’t lessen the heartache. Sara, I have an idea. I’ve actually been thinking about it for some time now, and now seems like a good time to suggest it. Why don’t we name the baby and have a memorial service of sorts? I think that most people want to hide after a miscarriage, but I think we both know that isn’t really the answer. You have so much love and insight to share with others. Don’t hide your feelings away! (Wraps his arms around Sara in a warm embrace.) What do you think?

WOMAN: I’ve been thinking about that very thing. I don’t ever want to hide this event and my feelings over it from the world because then I wouldn’t be living the life God wants me to live. I’ve thought and prayed many times about if our baby was going to be a boy or a girl. I think I know the answer, and I’ve even looked through the baby name book trying to find just the right name for our precious girl. I think that I’ve found the right name…Hannah. Do you like it?

MAN: Hannah? What does it mean?

WOMAN: Favor or grace. I thought it was beautiful and what a powerful testimony to others when they hear it too.

MAN: Sara, I think it’s perfect, honey. Perfect! And I’ve been thinking about our girl too. I think often about what she would have looked like and how much I would have loved holding her and hugging her and teaching her. (Chokes up and pulls away a bit.) I just miss her. Is it possible to miss someone that you’ve never met?

WOMAN: Yes, dear, quite possible. I miss her each and every day. She would have been nearly here by now. I think we should have a service for her. What a sweet idea! I don’t know who will come, but I think it’s a great idea.

MAN: We will have our parents, at least.

Setting: Scene changes to a backyard area outside Sara and Randy’s home.

Sara, Randy, Sara’s parents, and Randy’s parents can be seen standing near a young tree.

SARA’S FATHER: We are all gathered here to dedicate this tree to the memory of Hannah. She died before any of us had the pleasure of laying eyes on her, but she is still very much a part of our lives. Sara and Randy asked me to lead our time with a prayer. Dear heavenly father, you have a way of doing things that is beyond us. We clearly do not understand why Hannah was not able to join us here on earth, but we do know and believe that there is a purpose in her death and short life. We thank you that we have the joy of knowing that Hannah is with you. Father, please continue to give each of us peace and understanding as we continue on this journey of healing. Thank you, Father.

SARA: I wrote something that I’d like to read.

I missed the opportunity to look in your eyes, hold you in my arms, count your toes, and touch your hair. But I never want to miss the opportunity to tell others about you and about the joy that you’ve brought to me and your father. You would have wowed me every day and amazed me each year, but I know that you are safe and loved and cared for beyond anything I could have ever offered you. I miss you and love you, Hannah.

SARA’S MOM: (Walks a bit away from the others.)

SARA: (Follows her mom.) Mom, what’s wrong?

SARA’S MOM: Oh, honey, I just couldn’t bear to listen to the rest of your words.

SARA: Why not?

SARA’S MOM: I guess because I hate to know the pain and sadness you’ve had to suffer. I’ve always wanted you to only have the best and greatest. I didn’t want you in a bubble, but I didn’t want heartache for you. And I know you’ve had so much since losing your Hannah.

SARA: Mom, I have hurt, wept, yelled, raged, questioned, begged, and then cycled through them all again, but I’ve come to realize something.

SARA’S MOM: What’s that?

SARA: I’ve come to realize that there’s only one way to live this life. I can live it as if I have all the answers and I know how everything is going to turn out. Or I can live it trusting in God’s infinite goodness, his ultimate plan, his desire for me to trust him in all things no matter what. I hurt and I miss Hannah and I will never understand why I was never able to hold my sweet girl in my arms, but I also know that God has my best interest at heart. He loves me infinitely more than I could ever imagine. He knows the big picture, He knows what I need to grow in my walk with Him, and He knows that my baby is safe in His arms.

THE END