Quiet in His Love

How much do you say? When someone says "How are you?," is your standard answer "I'm fine." Or do you give some details? Or, perhaps, it depends on the person who asks the question. If it's a close friend, you likely go deep with your answer. If it's in the five minutes before the event you're at starts...you likely don't say much. When is more detail the correct response? When is it not? When do you protect your heart? When do you share it? So many questions. Honestly...I don't know that I have any helpful answers or direction for you, me, or anybody. I do know that, if you're hurting, struggling, or searching, it can be incredibly hard to open up to people that don't feel "safe." Friend, I wish I could tell you it is going to get easier...it is going to start hurting less...it is safe to share your heart...but sometimes those words just aren't going to ring true for you. I haven't walked in your shoes, and you haven...

It's been too long since I've hopped on here and shared my heart with all of you. Life, lately, has felt overwhelming, scary, anxiety-ridden. Things that normally don't get me worked up or cause anxiety in me have started to again. Strong anxiety and even panic attacks have been an on-again off-again thing with me over the years...even in my teens. Now, as a woman almost halfway through my forties, I feel as though I should be a "big girl" with a certificate of graduation from all things anxiety and fear. Honestly, I think sometimes my increase in age also contributes to my increase in anxiety and fear and "Oh wow, I messed up and can't do it over" moments. Why? Can I blame hormones? Maybe. Can I blame too much caffeine? Probably a contributor. Can I blame Satan? I imagine on some level I can. Can I blame...? Will placing blame help me in this moment? Unlikely. What will help me? Refocusing... Yes, refocusing. At least, it will help to some degree. Y...

How has it been two years? Two years without your laughter, your corny jokes, your deep wisdom, your encouraging words...two years without your meal time prayers, your hugs, your special knock on the door, your dreams of the future...two years without you. How can it be true? We have gone through the seasons, through birthdays, through holidays, through ups and downs...all without you. You are experiencing things beyond our imaginations, and we are experiencing life in a new form, a new way. Heart hurts, belly laughs, new memories made...all without you. I know that the pain will lessen...it will become easier... At least that's what I'm supposed to believe. The truth is that if I let myself think too much about how you left us, my heart will not be at rest, peace will flee. When will I have peace? When will life be okay without you here to share in it with us? When will I trust the goodness of God again with my whole heart? You are missed. You have left behind a legacy - a her...