Quiet in His Love

How has it been two years? Two years without your laughter, your corny jokes, your deep wisdom, your encouraging words...two years without your meal time prayers, your hugs, your special knock on the door, your dreams of the future...two years without you. How can it be true? We have gone through the seasons, through birthdays, through holidays, through ups and downs...all without you. You are experiencing things beyond our imaginations, and we are experiencing life in a new form, a new way. Heart hurts, belly laughs, new memories made...all without you. I know that the pain will lessen...it will become easier... At least that's what I'm supposed to believe. The truth is that if I let myself think too much about how you left us, my heart will not be at rest, peace will flee. When will I have peace? When will life be okay without you here to share in it with us? When will I trust the goodness of God again with my whole heart? You are missed. You have left behind a legacy - a her...

It has been two months since my dad went to his heavenly home. My heart still hurts and my mind still frets. Life is not the same without my dad here to laugh with, to joke with, to dream with, to ponder and question and discuss with... His knowledge of so many things was only passed on to various people in snippets and segments, not whole volumes. Some may know how to hook up a washing machine or adjust a home air conditioning system or the finer points of our country's constitution because of my father, but the ins and outs of washing machine repair, proper vent openings, or the real purpose of a constitutional amendment will likely be lost on most of us. Can we dream about the perfect RV? Can we plan the ideal family gathering? Can we discuss boot camp in the 1970s? Can we find the quickest route from here to our favorite spot in Wisconsin? Can we hear the story one more time of driving cars out on the ice or hunting trips with Grandpa or getting white bell-bottom jeans covered ...