Date Night Resources: Part I

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

Ephesians 5:28-30 ESV

            Dating after marriage is viewed by many as unnecessary. Dating served you well if you’re married because you are married. You crossed the finish line when you got married, right? Now you can sit back and relax and enjoy wedded bliss. Not according to Gary Chapman, PhD. In his introduction to 52 Uncommon Dates: A Couple’s Adventure Guide for Praying, Playing, and Staying Together by Randy Southern, Chapman states, “Dating is to marriage what breathing is to the body. It brings fresh oxygen to nourish the cells of matrimony. Couples who continue dating after the wedding are far more likely to have a healthy marriage.” With this in mind, I believe it is critical for married couples to make time for dating.

            Pull out your calendar. Or open it on your phone. Now, plug in three dates over the next three months. Those dates should be written in stone, so make sure you aren’t about to compete with softball or golf or summer dance. Remember, you are scheduling opportunities to receive fresh oxygen into the cells of your marriage. Breathing easier is nourishment to you, your spouse, and your marriage.

            I’m proud of you! You did something that may feel equal to jumping hurdles on race day. If you’re feeling that way, take a moment to revel in your victory. It may seem small to some, but it’s huge to you. That little bit of difference – that monumental step – is going to make a significant impact on your marriage.

            The next step is to plan what you are going to do on those three dates. This is not all on you or your spouse. I would suggest splitting the planning. For example, each spouse plans one date and then you both plan the third date together. I promise it isn’t scary, and it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. There are numerous resources available to you. A simple internet search will lead you to more resources than you could ever hope to use.

            I want to share two books that I have on hand. They are:

1.      52 Uncommon Dates: A Couple’s Adventure Guide for Praying, Playing, and Staying Together by Randy Southern – I gifted this to my husband at some time in the past to help him in date planning. It can be a challenge to think outside the rut. This book has 52 unique suggestions, including a few I would bookmark: The Sunrise Date, Design-A-Shirt Date, The Picnic Date, The Jigsaw Puzzle Date, The Romantic Movie Date, and The Second First Date. Each date includes seven sections: Words to Grow On, Set the Scene, Make It Happen, Finish Strong, Mind Your Language, Take It to God, and Dig Deep. I’m hoping we can start enjoying some of these dates very soon!

2.      Christian Dating Adventures: A Couple’s Guide by Selina Almodovar – I ordered this book for this blog project because the dates in it seemed to be off the beaten path. While I have yet to really use this book, I know that it will be another great source of date ideas for my husband and me. The book contains “65 fun, creative dates to connect and grow.” There are seven chapters covering the following: Just the Two of Us, Homegrown, Creative & Culinary, Outdoors & Adventure, Together in Service, Group Dates, and Holidays & Special Occasions. I currently have four dates marked, one of which my husband and I tried – “board games with a twist.” We love games of all sorts, so we gave this one a go, especially since we could do it at home. The twist was coming up with a unique rule for each game we played to make the date more interesting. At the end of our date, we had played three games with my husband winning two. I rewarded him with a “Grand Game Champion” trophy, which will only remain his until I win it back.

      The above two books are only two of twenty or more such books that are available for couples in need of a little extra help or some inspiration in date planning. There is no shame in needing some insider information in the date idea department. The important thing is keeping your marriage healthy or making it healthy again. If tools and resources are able to help you accomplish that, then use them. I would only caution you to be aware of who wrote the book and what perspective they are coming from.

To ponder and discuss:

1.      How might we benefit from using resources like those listed here in our date planning?

2.      How could our marriage become healthier through an influx of dating (fresh oxygen)?

3.      Which date name or chapter title appeals most to you? To your spouse? Would you enjoy the other’s choice?

Prayer:

      Dear Lord, thank you for the opportunity to plan unique dates. We know the importance of nourishing our marriage. Please continue to give us the desire to grow a healthy marriage through dating. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.