The War
Have you ever struggled with something that just seemed impossible? Vague, I know, but I think you'll understand what I'm asking. I have a war waging within me - a war against something that I never thought I'd have to deal with. The truth is, though, that I've probably been dealing with this "something" off and on for years. Was it caused in junior high when I was picked on by numerous people who felt it necessary to call me ugly, spit on me, push me, take things from me? Or was it caused by the "popular" girls in elementary school that would pick a girl to be their "friend?" Or maybe it happened later when I started really looking at myself and seeing someone who wasn't quite as pretty, smart, or popular as the other girls. The truth is it doesn't really matter when it started - how long the war has been waging within. The war needs to be won once and for all. I need to realize that it doesn't really matter what people say about me behind my back, what they assume about me, what they think I am not doing right, why they choose not to be friendly to me. What matters is what my Father in heaven believes and tells me! He has called me to him! I no longer need to fight depression, to fight against what others are saying/believing. God is on my side! He loves me, he created me, he sent his one and only son to die for me! Why on Earth should I doubt that I have value, that I have purpose, that God has a plan for my life? I was hit by a car as a child and walked away with very little damage to myself. God placed an angel in my path that day! I don't doubt for a minute that I was protected from what could have happened. Why? Because my Father in heaven had a plan for me! An amazing, wonderful, spectacular, blessed plan!
So, why am I depressed? Because I forget, life comes in and steals my joy, steals my excitement. The "burdens" of life come in and take over and whisper things to me. They say, "You're not a good mom. You yell and say things that aren't nice." They say, "You don't have a close friend. People don't like you. They think you take too much and don't give enough. They think you're annoying." They say, "You don't have anything to offer." They say, "You aren't a good wife. You're too needy." Who is behind those thoughts? My savior? NO WAY! My savior speaks amazing words of love and life to me in His word. In fact, in Proverbs 4:23 it says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Wow! Our heart is the baseline. Good or bad, that's where everything flows from. If we are listening to the lies from Satan (and our own flesh), we are going to spew crap and cause damage to others.
Depression is something that is hard to fight against when you're going through it. Many people that cross the path of someone in a depressed state probably think - just get over it, quit being so self-centered. It, however, is not that simple. Not in the least. Without support, fighting depression is a lonely, scary battle. More than a battle - a war! A war that needs to be won. A war that needs troops to join forces with the battling individual. Pray! Pray that the war will be won!
So, why am I depressed? Because I forget, life comes in and steals my joy, steals my excitement. The "burdens" of life come in and take over and whisper things to me. They say, "You're not a good mom. You yell and say things that aren't nice." They say, "You don't have a close friend. People don't like you. They think you take too much and don't give enough. They think you're annoying." They say, "You don't have anything to offer." They say, "You aren't a good wife. You're too needy." Who is behind those thoughts? My savior? NO WAY! My savior speaks amazing words of love and life to me in His word. In fact, in Proverbs 4:23 it says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Wow! Our heart is the baseline. Good or bad, that's where everything flows from. If we are listening to the lies from Satan (and our own flesh), we are going to spew crap and cause damage to others.
Depression is something that is hard to fight against when you're going through it. Many people that cross the path of someone in a depressed state probably think - just get over it, quit being so self-centered. It, however, is not that simple. Not in the least. Without support, fighting depression is a lonely, scary battle. More than a battle - a war! A war that needs to be won. A war that needs troops to join forces with the battling individual. Pray! Pray that the war will be won!
Yes, depression is a war but the battle has been won already! I, too, have been struggling with depression, particularly this winter. Depression steals so many things as you said: our joy, peace, thought process, energy, and so much more! I hate it and I hate feeling it and yes, it is irritating when people say, "just get over it" or "just read your Bible" or "meditate, exercise, talk about it..." etc etc. It's not that easy but the hope I have is that the battle has already been won and despite how I feel, I know that feelings come and go like the wind and the Lord is in control as we wage war with the demons in this world! I'm so happy that this is only my temporary home and my permanent home is in Heaven! Until then, I continue to look up despite how I feel, as God is in control whether I feel it or not! Thank you Jesus for bringing us through the storms of life. You did not promise us a life without trials but in fact when we follow you, sometimes we have more as through our trials, we becomes a witness and testimony to others by our faith in you Lord Jesus. AMEN.
ReplyDelete