I'm Still Here...
Some days are more of a struggle than others. It all depends. On what? I'm not even sure I know the answer to that question. I do know that those that I share with are very encouraging and that they believe that I will find help and hope. I need both. Truly. Each day feels different and none of them feel "normal." Bits and pieces feel "normal" but never the whole day. I want to see miracles and joy sprout from this time. I want to be able to look back on this season and say God got me through, family got me through, friends got me through. There needs to be a pot of "gold" at the end of this rainbow. So much of who I am is suppressed or overwrought or confused right now. I feel as though I live in a haze of Hallmark movies and naps, with a little bit of living thrown in for good measure. It's a struggle. My own mind is not so comfortable right now...not such a lovely place to be. Yet, there must be help and hope out there for me and for others like...